Our Fee Schedule, Plainly Stated

Many firms hide their fees. We prefer to hide our feelings, which are even more expensive.

• Basic return, one cat, no dependants: $85
• Household return, three cats and a human: $210
• Treat budget review, per quarter: $40
• Audit representation, per hour of Gerald sitting still: $95
• Letter of apology to a neighbour, drafted: $30

All fees are quoted before work begins and are never revised upward after a client has fallen asleep on the engagement letter. Payment is accepted by cheque, transfer, or minnows. We do not accept promises. Cats who have promised to pay us before are listed on a wall we do not discuss.