Category: Our Team

Marguerite Whiskerton keeps the books at Purrfect Pitch with the kind of precision usually reserved for hunting. She is a black and white cat of seven who files by colour, by date and, when in doubt, by mood.

She reconciles eighteen accounts a month, has found three errors in the last audit by the Revenue Service and has been publicly thanked by none of them. Her desk is bare except for a single pen, which she has not moved in four years.

Her one indulgence is a small bowl of oat crackers at her elbow. Ask her about it and she will say it is a petty cash fund. Do not ask her about the balance.

Visitors often ask what Dumpling does. The answer, after careful observation, is that she greets every client with a long unblinking stare, assesses the quality of their coat and decides whether they are the sort who will be asked to wait.

Dumpling’s hours are 9 to 5 with a one hour lunch that has, in practice, lasted four years. She has never taken a message, but she has never lost one either, because she has never accepted one.

In the last financial year she processed 0 invoices, rejected 3 envelopes and personally escorted one auditor out of the building by sitting in front of the door. We have chosen to regard this as a success.

Gerald Mittens is a grey cat of eleven years and a certified public accountant of nine. He holds a degree in Applied Ledger Studies and a small, stubborn bald patch above the left ear from a tax season he calls the Winter of Receipts.

Gerald prepares roughly 340 returns a year. He has never missed a deadline, though he has twice been late to one because a sunbeam moved across the filing cabinet and he felt it would be rude to leave.

His specialty is the complicated household: multiple cats, one human, three litter trays and no agreed cost sharing arrangement. He describes this as the most rewarding work in the profession. He says it without moving his face.