Mailbag: My Human Says I Owe Money for the Window Ledge

Dear Gerald, my human claims I owe rent for the window ledge because I spend nine hours a day on it. Is this lawful?

It is not, Mr. Fluff. Rent requires a lease, and a lease requires a signature. We have examined your paw print on the form your human produced and it is, on inspection, a smudge of yoghurt.

That said, we advise against a hostile position. Offer a counter proposal: you will provide pest control services, valued at four moths a month, in exchange for occupancy. The human will accept it because the human has already counted the moths.